Greenish Acres

I went to my buddy Thom's farm. Here is what happened.

In these less than optimal times, I have been making an effort to balance the awfulness with as much goodness as I can get my hands on (while still paying attention to the awfulness and doing my best to fight it every which way I can). To that end, this past weekend I went to visit my buddy Thom on his farm.

Thom’s farm is about an hour’s drive from my palatial New York apartment somewhere due west in New Jersey. We had been talking about me visiting for several years and, with my girlfriend going out of town for the weekend, I figured it was the perfect time to finally take him up on his offer. So I talked my sweet dog Luci, a lover of farms and all things nature, disgusting, or ideally both, into climbing into a rental car for a father-daughter getaway of sorts (even though- like pretty much every time you ask a dog to get in a car- she had absolutely no idea where we were going).

It was raining pretty heavily as Luci and I made our way to New Jersey, so much, in fact, that I think we both at least momentarily questioned what the hell we were doing. But I’d hung with my buddy Thom in the rain before and it was still fun, so I just kept driving, confident in the knowledge that good, if slightly damp times were still ahead.

As soon as we got to Thom’s place, we headed inside his house to his lovely kitchen, where he offered me a cup of bone broth, something I don’t think has ever happened in my life before. But I am a man without limits, so I took him up on his offer and next you know I was sipping a hot mug of chicken bone broth with ginger and turmeric like a guy who does stuff like that all the time. It was kind of like disappointing soup in a way, but still warm and tasty enough that Thom and I each had seconds and thirds. I even poured a little into the bowl of food I had prepared for Luci but it’s hard to say whether she enjoyed it as Thom’s dog Scout, a sprightly herding dog who was not exactly opposed to good times all the time, ended up eating most of it when Luci wasn’t looking.

Hopped up on bone broth, Thom, Luci, Scout, and I headed outside for a quick tour of the farm, which included a bunch of cool old barns and other assorted buildings you tend to find on a farm as well as a couple of goats and sheep (which is to say two of each). I like sheep and all, but goats are easily in my top five of all animals, farm or otherwise, so I perked up so much when I saw them you would have sworn I had been offered a fourth cup of bone broth.

I’d like to think the goats were just as excited to see me as I was them, but it was hard to tell as goats tend to play it close to the vest. And with the dogs around, I figured it was best not to ask Thom if I could go inside the goat pen and really goat it up in a manner I would have really enjoyed. Next time. And the time after that.

Somewhere along the way, Luci, in the interest of payback I’m assuming, found one of Scout’s chew toys and carried it around with her for the next hour, letting it hang out of her mouth like she was a bookie chomping on a cigar or one of those dogs in one of those improbable poker paintings. I tried to get a good picture but she wasn’t having it. But you can see her lying down with her back to me above to get a sense of things.

A couple hours later, Thom, his wife Laura, our buddy John, Thom’s sister Kelly, and their cousin Cindy all met up for dinner in town. I had the apple cobble for dessert because I am country now.

Yesterday morning, Thom, Luci, Scout, and I took another stroll around the farm and then Luci and jumped back into our rental car and headed back to the city. Later that day, back at the apartment, I decided to go into my office and practice the guitar for a while as we both waited for my girlfriend to return home. About an hour later, I emerged from my office to find Luci fast asleep on the couch. When I walked into the kitchen, I discovered that Luci had taken a huge dump in front of the sink. This isn’t normal behavior for her but she’s country now too I guess.